Since the dawn of time a certain group of blokes have been lamenting the fact that they just don’t seem able to attract the ladies. They put this down to being ‘nice guys’ and have convinced themselves that all women are only attracted to a-holes.
Now, come on fellas, let’s face it, your moral outlook on life has got nothing to do with why women don’t dig you. It’s because you’ve been beaten with the freaky stick and you showed it. But don’t let this get you down, follow these five guidelines to determine if you are, in fact, a freak.
You’re spending time with online ladies
No, not like that! But if you spend more time with Lara Croft than actual women there is something wrong. Lots of people enjoy video games, but if you’re some kind of lothario in the online world you need to get out more. CGI girlfriends don’t count..
You suffer from the ‘Stares’
Smiling is great…everyone likes a smile. Not everyone likes uninterrupted eye contact for an entire lecture though. I’m sure you’ve just been bewitched by her angelic beauty and mean her no harm, but if a girl catches you staring you’re no better than flasher who’s been stalking the campus recently. Periodic glances means you’re interested, constant glaring means you’ve got duck tape and a shovel in your boot.
You have a bad case of the ‘call ‘ems’
So, you’ve finally met a girl who seems to be interested in you for more than just copying your notes. She actually agrees to go on a date and it all seems to be going well. As soon as you get home you make a mad dash for the phone… stop! Premature is a word you don’t want to be associated with you and that goes for calling too. Let her stew for a while.
You’re a constant victim of cheating
Telling girls about your previous run-ins with deceitful harpies is practically giving them a free-pass to do the same. And you’ve just given away all the ways we’ll get caught too. We’re like wolves – we can smell fear and insecurity a mile off. If you’re weak we’ll choose to mate with the bigger and stronger boys.
You’ll do anything for her
This doesn’t mean you’re a gentleman…this means you’re a mug. Yes we like affection and respect, but we need to work for it, otherwise it’s just too easy. Give us an inch and we’ll take a mile, leave you there and go home with the mysterious, brooding type instead.