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Good in bed?

You may be asking yourself, ‘Am I any good in bed?’.The answer, we’re sure you’re surprised to hear,  is probably ‘no’. Actually, in your case, the answer is definitely and unequivocally ‘no’ – which is why you should be reading this…To accurately determine your sexual performance, you need to break down ‘Good In Bed’ into it’s three components and understand what each of them means.

Good means different things to different people. If I was to take you out for a meal and offer you a glass of rainwater and a piece of stale bread, there’s a good chance that I’ll be heading home a lot earlier than expected. If, however, you had been trapped in a rabbit hole for six days with nothing but the cold nag of a possible lonely death as your companion, you might just think my offering is the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen. It’s all in the perception. So, if your own sexual technique is the moral equivalent of that piece of stale bread then all you have to do is work on how you’re perceived. There are probably better ways to do this than trapping your partner in a rabbit hole for a few weeks though!

Now, what about this whole bed thing? As you get older and wiser, you’ll learn the hard way that there is nothing quite like a nice fresh, soft and comfortable bed to partake in naked wrestling within. Sure, you’d like to be a bit more, well, spontaneous, but let’s face it, the last time you had sex in the kitchen, your pimpled little ass slipped into the cutlery drawer and you got a fish knife impaled upon an unyielding buttock. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac, humiliation isn’t. A bed is far more comfortable. And safer!

Finally, there is the word in. And let’s face it, there’s a lot more to sex than that word. As a man, you may think that the only goal is in, and that everything that you do has to lead to you finding your way in, getting in and staying in for as long as possible. There is so much more to it than that! Why fixate on one page when there are whole chapters to read and indulge in. Explore the rest of the book, expand your repertoire so that ‘in’ is part of the menu, a thrilling possibility, but not the be all and end all. You know, if you can get over the fixation of ‘in’, then you may just be on your way to being Good In Bed.

Written by Edward Couzens-Lake